


Or this one (i swear we've been here before)

by proudhermit



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Gen, about death & grief, also rated t because it references the violence of the movie, but isn't actually that explicit i don't think??, but it is a nile-centric, it's my first fic yall idk what i'm doing, kinda character study, take a shot everytime i use a comma, technically the whole team is in this not just nile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:48:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26412136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/proudhermit/pseuds/proudhermit
Summary: Nile is 11, and there's a hole in the center of her chest.
Relationships: Nile Freeman & the old guard
Kudos: 29





	Or this one (i swear we've been here before)

There is a hole in the center of Nile's chest. She watches her father's body being lowered into the ground and clutches her brother and mother close. There's a hole in her chest, and she can feel it growing bigger and bigger with every breath she draws, every second her father isn't in her life anymore.

So, like her father, she enlists. Trains. Meets Jay and Dizzy. Keeps going. And the aching emptiness in her chest dulls just a little.

___

There's a hole in her chest, and sometimes she thinks it will eat her alive, but it doesn't. No one sees it somehow. It's as invisible as the scar that should be on her throat. But she can feel it, as clearly as she can feel everyone's eyes boring into her. It aches like her fingers, white-knuckled, clenched around her phone. She leaves the tent, alone.

___

Nile wakes up choking on salt and water, her chest _burns_. Her name is Quynh, they tell her. And Nile can see Andy has a hole in her chest too. They all do.

___

The fire is warm, but Booker's words chill her. The hole in his chest is bigger, older, and bloodier than her own. Her chest aches.

___

There's more than one hole in her chest now, and in her back, her shoulder, her stomach. And, God, they hurt. But they heal. So Nile gets up, adjusts her grip on the gun, and shoots and shoots and shoots. She covers Andy, taking a bullet to the back, and sees Nicky take two to the chest. She aches now, full of bullet holes, but the one in her chest, for a moment, does not.

___

Back at the safe house, she watches Joe and Nicky, squished together on a couch, with Joe's hand resting lightly on Nicky's chest. The hole in her own chest is still there, she knows. She doesn't need to look down to see it there, but neither does anyone else in the room. She know this too. Joe catches her eye and winks before Nicky hands Andy some sweet wrapped in parchment paper. She watches them place bets, laughing, and something begins to bloom and unfurl in her chest. 

Andy drops down beside her, handing Nile a little piece of baklava with a small smile. Nile cradles it, gently, and smiles back.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I know Nile doesn't actually see Nicky take those bullets for Andy but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> 2\. *antoni porowski voice* an action movie about immortal mercenaries is actually something that can be so personal


End file.
